Some Like it Haunted (A Sophie Rhodes Ghostly Romane Book 2) Page 7

  As Cal drove us back to my place, I silently practiced telling him my secret. Each time I mentally rehearsed the scenario, I imagined him reacting gently with complete understanding. “Don’t worry,” practice Cal said, “we’ll get through this together.” Each run-through made me more and more confident.

  I must have become deeply involved in my thoughts and tuned Cal out because he tapped me as he came to a stop at the corner before my apartment building. “Did you hear me?”

  “Huh?”

  “Dinner. I was asking you what we should make.”

  “Ah geez. I hadn’t thought of dinner. I have wine,” I said, “but unless there are leftovers from last night, I think we’re limited to egg salad or honey nut cereal.”

  “That’s okay,” he said. “Let’s just order a pizza.”

  “That sounds good. I’ll call right now. Then we won’t have to wait long once we’re home.”

  He liked that idea. “Perfect.”

  See, Cal was the ultimate in easy-going, understanding boyfriends. He wouldn’t bat an eyelash when I told him I had the hots for Shane because a ghost witch cast a spell on us.

  “A lust spell?” Cal shouted. “A lust spell?”

  Okay, maybe I needed more practice. “I was hoping you’d be a little more understanding,” I pleaded. “You know, gentle and responsive.”

  “I’m your boyfriend, but you’re lusting after Shane? Do you feel lust for him right now?”

  “Well, when I hear his name it makes things harder.”

  “So this very minute you’re thinking of him? That way?”

  “Just a teensy bit really. But he’s not here. And you are here, so, maybe we could do something to blot him out.” I snuggled against him to work some seduction in and hopefully defuse this bomb.

  “Oh my God!” He shouted again, pulling from my advance. “You feel lust for Shane!” His outburst sent Uno scrambling to my room and Peter Pan dashing into his hammock.

  The doorbell rang.

  “I think that’s the pizza,” I said. “Can you stop shouting for a minute?” I pulled the door open and a young, fresh-faced teenage boy with a pizza box in his hand smiled at me.

  “Large pepperoni pizza,” he said. “That will be fourteen dollars and nineteen cents.”

  I took the box but didn’t have any cash on me.

  Cal stomped back and forth across my living room floor. “You feel lust for Shane. You are lusting after Shane. You and Shane are lusting after each other.”

  The pizza boy’s face flushed crimson red.

  “Cal, honey,” I said in my sweetest voice, “do you have money for this nice young man?”

  Cal yanked his wallet from his back pocket and handed the kid a twenty. “Do you lust after the pizza delivery boy too?”

  I apologized to the poor guy and closed the door. “Thank you for that. Now I’ll never be able to order pizza from that place again. And do you have to keep saying that word? I’m as upset as you are about this.”

  “You feel lust for Shane!” He shoved a slice of pizza into his mouth and chewed.

  “Shh,” I said. “Keep your voice down. This apartment has thin walls.”

  Someone knocked on my door.

  “See?”

  “Sophie! Are you all right in there?”

  It was Mr. Franklin from across the hall. He was also the building manager and had a soft spot in his heart for me. He never admitted it because he displayed a tough guy exterior, but I knew he was always looking out for me.

  I opened the door. “I’m fine, Mr. Franklin. We’re just having a little misunderstanding. I’m sorry.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a little misunderstanding to me. You’re not seeing that pretty boy, Shane again are you?” He poked his head into the apartment. “Cal, you okay?”

  Cal nodded. “Sorry about that. I’ll keep it down.” He sighed. He picked his jacket up from the back of the chair where he’d laid it. “In fact, I’ll just be going.”

  “No!” I pleaded with him. “Stay and let’s talk this out.”

  “You should always talk things out,” said Mr. Franklin.

  I’d like to say that Cal listened to Mr. Franklin and that Cal stayed and we talked things out and kissed and made up and got to the even better stuff that comes with making up.

  But I can’t say that. Because kissing and making up was apparently not on the agenda for this particular night. Nope. Instead, Shane stuck his head into the doorway. “Soph,” he said, “is this a bad time?”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Shane’s brains were always slow on the take, but since the Lust Spell, it seemed they’d moved entirely south of the border.

  “So you are seeing Shane again?” Mr. Franklin asked incredulously. “Sophie, I thought you had better sense than that. Cal is obviously a much better choice for you.”

  I threw up my arms in frustration. “I’m not seeing him!”

  “She’s just lusting for him. Full of lust. Lust, lust, lust.”

  “You told him?” Shane asked.

  Mr. Franklin shook his head in astonishment. And it was pretty difficult to astonish Mr. Franklin. “You three aren’t into some kinky threesome kind of goings-on are you?”

  “I promise we’ll stop shouting,” I told him, “but this is sort of personal. Can you give us some privacy?”

  He nodded, looking relieved. “Sure, sure. Just keep it down. Don’t need tenants complaining.”

  “Absolutely,” I said.

  Shane waltzed into the living room without an invitation as Mr. Franklin returned to his own apartment across the hall. Myrtle floated in behind Shane.

  “Shane,” I snipped. “I didn’t invite you in. This is a bad time. It’s a very bad time.”

  My pulse was beginning to race and the familiar urges were returning full force. I needed to make him leave so I could handle things with Cal.

  “Shane, you need to go.”

  “No, no,” said Cal. “Let him stay. I’ll go. You two have at it.”

  “You don’t mean that,” I snapped at him. He was beginning to piss me off. This was a crisis for both of us, and he was acting like a baby. “You stay here, damn it, and keep me away from him until we can work this out. You’re my boyfriend. It’s your duty to protect me from these things.”

  “From being in lust with another man?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’m with her, man,” Shane said. “I want her so bad I can taste it. And I’m engaged. I love Amy. You gotta keep us away from each other.”

  “Why don’t you just stay away from each other? Why do I have to do the dirty work?”

  “It’s out of our control. You have no idea. The thought of her skin against mine, her lips on mine. Her hands on—”

  “Stop it right there!” Cal yelled. “Stop it before I punch your lights out.” He stood between us glaring at Shane. “And yes, by the way, I do have every idea. I never stop thinking about her soft skin and the delicate curve of her neck and the sweet scent of coconut shampoo in her hair. And...other things.”

  “Aw.” My anger softened instantly. “Really?”

  He turned to me. “Really. You’re unforgettable. You’re the woman of my dreams.”

  “That’s so beautiful.” I hugged him. “You’re the man of my dreams.”

  “So right now, when you’re hugging me, you’re all hot and bothered for that guy, aren’t you?”

  Spotting that the door hadn’t closed fully, I released my hug and shot him an angry frown. I stepped toward the door to shove it closed. “Why did you have to go and ruin the moment?”

  My hand was barely on the door when someone knocked, pushing it open again.

  Amy poked her head into my apartment. “Hello? Sophie?”
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br />   Amy was a petite thing. Short in stature and thin boned. I always wondered how she managed the bulkier patients in the ER ward. She had blonde hair with a touch of wave and a ruddiness to her cheeks year round. Her beauty was natural inside and out. It was no wonder that Shane fell for her. Most men she met did to one degree or another.

  “Amy,” I said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  “I...” She spotted Shane. “Shane? What are you doing here?”

  Myrtle had become immediately interested in Amy, circling her with intense curiosity. “Well, I’ll be shucked like an ear of corn in July. Darned if she ain’t the spittin’ image of my mama. Is this your sweetie, Shane?”

  “Your mama?” Shane asked Myrtle, although to Amy it probably looked like he was talking to my ceiling. “Is your memory returning?”

  “What are you talking about?” asked Amy, obviously very confused by Shane’s odd comment.

  Something needed to be done and done quickly.

  “Amy,” I said, grasping at straws for any believable reason for why Shane would be at my apartment. “I asked Shane to come over for a few minutes so he could help me plan a surprise engagement party for you. What are you doing here?”

  “We already had an engagement party. You were there.” She cocked her head at me suspiciously. “And I stopped by to show you some pictures of dresses.”

  “Oh. I forgot. I meant your bachelorette party.”

  “You needed Shane for that?”

  “She sounds like my mama, too,” said Myrtle, walking circles around Amy and inspecting her from head to toe.

  “Do you feel that breeze?” Amy asked, pulling her sweater tightly around her.

  “Why lookee there. She’s gonna be a mama herself,” said Myrtle. “She’s got a little bun in the oven.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Shane gasped.

  Amy gasped back. “Who told you? I just found out today.”

  “It’s comin’ back to me now,” shouted Myrtle. “I’m rememberin’ things. My name—it’s Babcock. Myrtle May Babcock. I left home ‘cuz I was ‘in the family way’ but didn’t have no wedding ring on my finger. Oh my.”

  Myrtle stood in front of Amy and scrutinized her more intently. “Hello there, Amy,” she said finally. “I think I’m your grand mama.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Amy fainted in the middle of my living room floor.

  At the same time, Myrtle clutched her middle and let out a yowl. “Oh! It hurts!”

  Shane was on the floor with Amy. “Baby, baby, are you okay? Get me a cold cloth!”

  “Right,” said Cal. “Cold cloth. Coming up.” He ran to my bathroom and returned, handing a wet washcloth to Shane.

  Myrtle clutched her stomach again. “Oh! I can’t believe how bad it hurts. Make it stop!”

  Amy was rousing from her stupor. “Shane? What happened?”

  “I’m not sure,” he said.

  “Who is that woman and why is she screaming?”

  “You see her?” he asked.

  “Of course I see her.” She sat up. “She sounds like she’s in pain. Maybe I can help her.” As Amy rose to assist Myrtle, she paused, startled again. “What is she?”

  “So Amy,” I said, trying to lighten the effect of her possible terror, “how do you feel about ghosts?”

  “She’s a ghost?”

  “So you really see her?” Shane asked incredulously. “Why can everyone see her except me?”

  “This has turned out to be an interesting night,” said Cal. “Not exactly the evening I’d planned, but I guess this was another way to go. Now, was it my imagination, or did that ghost just say she was Amy’s grandmother? And speaking of ghosts, where’s Marmaduke? Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that he isn’t here giving us his running commentary?”

  “You’re doing a good enough job all by yourself,” I said.

  “You’re being awfully churlish toward me. It seems that if anyone has the right to be churlish around here, it’s me. Miss Full-of-Lust.” He buried his head in his hands and moaned. “Churlish? Did I really just use that word? I’m starting to talk like Marmaduke.”

  “Oh!” cried Myrtle. “How can this hurt so much?”

  “What’s wrong with her?” asked Shane. “Can’t someone quiet her down?”

  “If I didn’t know better,” said Amy, “I’d say she was in labor.”

  “Can ghosts have ghost babies?” Cal asked. He stood and began to pace. “Ghosts. Witches. Lust spells. This is more than I signed up for. I went to optometry school, not Hogwarts.”

  “Why does Cal keep talking about lust?” Amy asked.

  Geez, this night was firing all kinds of bullets at me to dodge. “I’m not sure. I think he hit his head earlier. Is she the ghost of your grandmother, Amy?” I asked.

  “I don’t know.” Amy put a hand to her forehead, looking a little woozy again.

  “You never met your grandmother?”

  “Not my real grandmother. It’s kind of a long story. Can I sit down? I think I’m going to faint again.”

  “I’ll get you some water.” I stepped sideways to avoid the path of Cal’s pacing while Shane helped Amy to the couch. “Myrtle,” I asked while getting the glass, “what can we do for you?”

  Myrtle didn’t seem to hear me. She was lying in the middle of my floor crying. Every few minutes she’d stop to cry out in pain.

  I handed Amy the glass of water.

  Cal whispered in my ear. “Is it just me, or are you and Shane less, you know, hot for each other?”

  “The distraction of the chaos does seem to help.”

  My cell phone rang. It was Tara Wiley. I was relieved, hoping she might offer some ideas on Myrtle’s condition.

  “Hi Tara,” I said. “I’m glad you called.”

  “Sophie,” she said, “if Marmaduke wasn’t already dead, I’d be ready to kill him myself. He’s over here bawling like a baby and he won’t leave.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Apparently I’d upset Marmi so badly with the insinuation that his infatuation for Myrtle was spell-induced that he’d gone to Tara in a fit.

  When I told Tara about our situation with Myrtle, she sighed. “This may require a trip to Spencer House sooner rather than later,” she said. “Let me make a phone call. I’ll call you back in a few minutes. Try to keep Myrtle calm if you can.”

  Meanwhile, Marmaduke had materialized upon hearing of Myrtle’s plight. “My sweet Crepe Myrtle,” he said, holding her hand. “Fear not. Your Marmadoodle has arrived. I shall not allow any harm to befall you. Myrtle? Oh Myrtle! Do you think she hears me?” he asked with deep concern. “She does not respond to my words.”

  “I don’t know, Marmi,” I said. “She’s been like this since just after she told Amy that she was her grandmother.”

  “She’s your grandmother?” he asked Amy.

  Amy’s eyes widened. “Sophie, who is that?”

  “Amy, remember when I told you about Marmaduke?”

  “The Irish ghost? I thought you were joking.”

  Shane rested a hand on her shoulder. “He’s British, honey.”

  “It wasn’t a joke. Amy, meet my friend, Marmaduke.”

  Marmaduke nodded to her. “Greetings.”

  “This is getting more and more bizarre by the minute,” said Amy.

  “You see Marmaduke too?” Shane whined. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m starting to feel a little left out.”

  Amy took Shane’s hand. “I think I should go home.”

  “I’ll take you,” he said. “You shouldn’t be driving.”

  “Good idea,” Cal agreed quickly. “Great idea. Here, let me open the door for you.”

  Shane helped Amy u
p and guided her to the door. When they stepped over the threshold, Myrtle let out the loudest wail yet, then floated along behind them.

  “Where is my Myrtle May going? She can’t leave!” Marmaduke wailed.

  Shane turned in horror. “I still hear Myrtle. Is she following us?”

  I shrugged. “She’s attached to you Shane, she always has been.”

  “It’s okay,” said Amy, looking very deer-in-the-headlights. “I drove here myself. I’m fine to get home. It’s only five minutes away.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  “But you’re having my baby,” he said.

  “Not right now I’m not.” She smiled.

  “Listen,” said Cal, “I’ll take her home.”

  “I’m fine,” Amy insisted. But when she took one step down the stairs, Myrtle moaned again and floated toward her. Amy’s eyes widened. She took another couple of steps and Myrtle moved right along with her. “Shane? What’s happening?”

  “I don’t know.” Shane threw his arms up. “Ask Sophie. She’s the ghost expert.”

  “She seems attached to Amy now,” I guessed. “I’m no expert either, but she’s probably following you because she thinks she’s your grandmother. Take a few more steps, Amy, just to be sure.”

  Amy stepped down to the landing on the way to the first floor. Myrtle floated behind her the entire way. “This isn’t funny,” she said. “I want to go home and I don’t want this...thing going with me.”

  “She’s not a thing!” shouted Marmaduke.

  “Marmi,” I said, “calm down. This is new to her.”

  “Still, that is no way to speak about a person. My poor Myrtle Blossom is in a dire state. Command Amy to return this minute.”

  I certainly wasn’t going to command anyone to do anything. But it didn’t appear that she would leave successfully without Myrtle in tow. “Amy, I’m sorry, but you’ll probably want to come back up here until we have a plan.”